i keep healing myself:
absolving hurts and restoring energy
only to fritter it away in pursuit of “shoulds”
💜
forcing activities i find taxing or toxic
committing to people and projects that do not serve me
💜
all in a misguided sense of obligation – that if i am at my best, i should be all to everyone
💜
and i keep burning out
my lungs get sick and my heart feels bruised
and once again i work hard to heal myself only to start the cycle all over again
💜
and how ironic – that this false perception of needing to self-sacrifice for others makes it even less possible to be of service
💜
a few months ago, i recognized this pattern
and wrote myself the reminder to remain in pursuit of what is true and do. not. push.
which is hopefully the first step toward it’s undoing